Our year has started off in the sick zone! The Monday before Christmas I had a 24 hour bug that felt like death - it was a low grade fever and I did not want to move. Then December 26th (while visiting my parents) Kirby Rose came down with a 48 hour stomach bug, which let me tell you made for a fun drive home. Thankfully she never got sick in the car, but just moaned and groaned the last 3 hour leg of the trip. The morning after we got home, Patton woke up with a low grade fever. I had heard from my sister the night before, and her youngest daughter had been diagnosed with the flu and croup - yay, we were around her all week. So I ran Patton in to the dr to be on the safe side. Even though they did not do a flu test, the doc ensured me it was just a virus that would get worse before it got better. Boy, was he ever right. I do not think I have ever been so scared for one of my kiddos as I was Saturday night. Patton's fever got up to 104.2. It never broke, but did drop some. You better believe I was back in the next morning for them to flu swab. It was the same doctor who was on call Saturday, so he was a little annoyed I was back in, but I really wanted him to be tested to be certain it was not the flu. He made me feel like a real winner, pointing out "his ears are still clear … his flu test did come back negative". Look bud, I don't care if you think I am some bat crazy mom who is president of Hypocondriaville … when it comes to my babies I want to be 100% certain … and I am pretty sure I pay your mortgage with the amount of visits we have in here. So you are welcome. Today, a week later, is the first day Patton has acted normal again. Then CR came down with the bug that next Monday. Back to Kirby, who came down with it and an ear infection Friday evening. Whew. Join me in praying that this will not be how the rest of 2014 will go. We are a healthy family most of the time. This has just totally whacked us out!
2013 was such a different year for us. My favorite moment, of course, would have to be adding Patton Luke to our family ….
CR knew all along it was going to be a boy, and I had my notions that it was, but when I got to hold him for the first time it finally sunk that we had a little boy. I have always wanted a boy. I always wanted an older brother, or a younger brother, or an adoptive brother … finally God placed one in my arms.
My least favorite moment of 2013 was losing Dat, CR's grandfather. We all knew it would be coming sooner than later, but you are still never ready. Al Cave was such a neat man, and from the minute I met him, I felt like one of his grandchildren. He always called me his granddaughter and it made me feel so warm inside. He had a giving heart … so much so that we ended up with his dining room table as our dining room table now. It is a piece of him that we get to see, use, and feel everyday in our home.
Adjusting to a family of 4 was not easy. Looking back through some of my selfies (yes, I took some of those things) I almost looked depressed. I would not go as far as diagnosing myself with post pardum depression, but I may have been closer than I realized. Lack of sleep, not eating well, and not being able to take time for myself I am sure took its toll on my heart. Thankfully, I realized I was in a funk and that it was interfering with so much of us (not just me), that I started to make the change to get back to Lauren. Praise the Lord for opening my eyes and heart to that.
Kirby started coming into our bed as soon as we gave the crib to Patton. We were too tired (with already being up for night feedings) to deal with it so CR just put her in bed with us. Start your judging stares now … but we all got sleep. However, now it is an every night thing. For those of you with young babies or who have yet to have kids, take the advice "do not start what you don't want to be". Kids thrive on routine. Kirby is the epitome of that. If you do it a certain way once, it has to be that same way all the time. all. the. time. What is funny, is that there is no certain time that she comes in - she comes in at 11 or 5; 1 or 3. Why in the world does she wake up?? No clue.
This farm year was odd too. It was the longest harvest that wasn't. We only had a few fields that actually made anything. So, because we are farmers and have to make ends meet somehow, we took on every hay bailing job we could. Farmers bale their grain stalks (it is amazingly good nutrients for the cattle), so we had a plethora of grain stubble bailing. And then we added quite a few cattle to our herd. And then we planted oats. And then we had to fence the oats. Let's just say that October-January has been busier than some of our summer harvests all together! Living on a farm, you never leave your work … kind of like a home business, which I own as well, so work is always there. This year we have had to be purposeful about not working to death … it is always there, so that is a very hard thing to not do. Something always has to be done, fed, locked up, edited, blogged, accounted for, filed, calf pulled, tractor fixed, or cows that need to be put back up. In order for your family not to feel as though they are second fiddle, you have to chose.
2013 was a huge time of growth in the Lord for me. I had to rely on Him more than ever before for strength to get through each day. I had to dig deep to break free from some things that have bound me up and anchored me down from growth for a long time. I had to come to terms with things in my life and forgive myself for some of them. I had to overcome the idea of not being the mom of the year. I had to accept that many things are out of my control and remind myself constantly that my Maker knows about tomorrow. And loves me anyway.
I am looking forward to 2014, just like I look forward to each and every new day. "His mercies are new every morning …" and I am so thankful for that. I look forward to actually completing my second half-marathon at the end of this year in College Station. I look forward to making changes in my business that will free up more time for my family while still meeting our financial goals. I look forward to my 8th year of marriage to the man of my dreams. I look forward to watching my children grow in the Lord. I look forward to watching CR become even more of the man that God has planned for him to be. I look forward to digging even deeper in the Bible as I try to read through it again - 2013 I got the closest I have ever gotten, but still was a few books short. I look forward to meeting the babies of friends and family that I have been praying for over the last few years. I look forward to what God has in store for each and everyone that I know … stay tuned each day as I will post a picture a sentence a day. I will … it's in writing, so it must be true.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10
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