Moments like this ....

...make me wish I could freeze frame time said, "Watch this ..." then went and asked Ryan for a dance.
Getting a night with Kirby who they don't get to see everyday. The two of them getting a nice weekend away was great for them!
A mom with cancer, who is scared what the future holds but trusts the Lord with all her might and strength! (Praise God the tumor has shrunk a tiny, teeny, bit!)

Paw and 2nd grand girl getting to visit.

Great-grandma finally getting to hold Kirby. She could have sat there all night!

This past weekend was quite a bit of fun. We missed the family and friends that could not make it for Ryan and Rachel's wedding, but the time we had with others was wonderful. Kirby did pretty good. She definitely is a trooper. What should have been a 2 1/2 hour ride to San Antonio from Corpus ended up being a 6 hour ordeal. Even though the shop fixed my car on Wednesday, it decided to have trouble and overheat on our way up. Jim said, "So I heard you had an adventure on the way up here?!" "Jim, everyday is an adventure as a Patrick!"

We had to have Kirby's hip sonogram Friday and then on Monday we got the results. We are 99% there, so another month in the brace. Boo. I was so certain this was the last trip that I gave a goodie bag to our favorite nurse thinking we would never see her again. Oh well, there could be much worse.

I just want to push pause or repeat on today. It was our first calm Saturday in a long time. We had no plans except to be here with Kirby and clean house when we could. No agenda. Kirby did wonderful with her naps, I got to workout, Daddy got to nap, Christmas is in the garage (one step closer to totally away for the year), nice dinner all together, and now CR and I are about to watch a movie. I can not wait until everyday can be close to this. I know everyday can't be "perfect" and go as planned (or unplanned as today went!), but it sure is nice spending my precious hours with Kirby and my husband instead of with kids who could give a darn.

A few praises before I go:

Shayla is doing very well ... she had scans the other day and they found (almost) no cancer in the lymph nodes. There were 2 little spots so tiny, but the doctor thinks that is probably scar tissue. She still has to finish 5 rounds of Chemo, but praise God for what they discovered!

Jennifer, my cousin, is feeling good. My aunt just told me that she had Chemo yesterday and feels pretty good. The last time they had a scan (about 2 weeks ago) the tumor had SHRUNK! Just a tiny bit, but every bit counts! Praise the Lord!!

My writing brain is gone for the night; the couch, movie and husband calls ... until next time!

This week in pictures

Saturday evening we got to get Kirby and Nathan together for their January date.
She just loves him!

This is how we start out. Laying on my back with Sophie under my arm.

Then somehow when no one is looking I spin around and roll on my belly. I end up with my arms out like an airplane. Apparently Grammy likes this position - I do not. I end up slamming my face down because I have my daddy's temper.
Then I scoot sideways and try my hardest to get up and crawl. It does not work. I end up getting all tangled up in the blankets.

Finally I just push up and stay in a push up position for awhile. The other day I did this and pushed up on my toes. I did not know what was going on, so I got mad and slammed my head on the frog's face.

Life of mom

"Mothers are like fine collectibles-as the years go by they increase in value." This is a snippet from a book my mother gave me as a shower gift called, God's Little Instruction Book for Mom's. It has sat on the trunk at the end of our bed for the last few weeks, and since I had some down time this morning I decided to crack it open. It has quite a few very inspiring quotes, but definitely great Bible verses for us mothers to meditate on. I agree with the opening quote. My mother, in all her 30 years of being a mom to Elizabeth and 28 (eek!) to me, has definitely aged like a fine wine. There are moments when she doubts herself because of the situations that are in her home right now, but underneath all that baggage she is carrying lies a wonderful, God fearing woman. My mother has the internal beauty that only God can give a mother. My mother defends her children even when she knows they may not be right. My mother will go above and beyond and without to make sure that everyone is given a chance. My mother puts herself out so that her children can be put in. Everyone knows it that is around her, although some choose to deny it. I pray for her every night and thank the Lord that He gave me to her. I can not imagine having another mother. She is my best friend after God and CR. If I do not get to talk to her everyday, I seem lost. Even if it is just a "Good morning!" This drives some people crazy, but it is our thing and what they think does not matter. If I got to see her more often, it may be different, but I don't so it is what it is!
Being a mom is tough work and I have only had on the job training for 4 1/2 months now. I feel like it has always been nestled deep down in my bone marrow, though. Some things come very naturally; others do not. Sometimes CR will look at me and say, "What do I need to do?" My reply, "Not sure if you knew this, but I am a first time parent, too!" Ha, sarcastic I know but sometimes that is what you have to do. You have got to relax and have fun with this journey. Being uptight about it will get you nowhere fast, except maybe Crazyville. I found myself the other day thinking, how in the world could anyone harm such precious gifts from God? Cases came to mind that I have heard on the news in the past and I immediately prayed those thoughts away. "Do not dwell on evil thoughts or else sin will eventually lead to death. Sin grows like a disease." Romans 13:12-13. That is how it happens. People give in to those bad thoughts. I am glad I have this verse in Romans to remind me that I need to not even think about such things. We have got to overcome the devil in this world! At my shower in Montgomery they passed around index cards that had one letter from the alphabet on each card. My friend Kami's card had an R, and she definitely had some great advice. It said, "Relax!" Go with the flow and don't worry about the little things. Who cares if she poops all over her clothes and car seat because Daddy put the diaper on sideways, be thankful that Daddy put the diaper on! Be thankful that she pooped! It is the little things in life of being a mom that you will learn to appreciate and cherish!

"Despise not they mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22

GAP

When I was about four years old I learned a song at St. John's Mother's Day Out that was so simple and said, "God answers prayer, God answers prayer, God answers prayer, He' so good to me." It was a verse out of God is so Good. This song was always very comforting to me, and even as I grew up when I struggled with issues this verse came to mind. I often found myself singing it as I took an exam, dealt with boy issues, and especially when we had tragedies with our friends. I have always known God is so good and that He answers prayer. The older I got, though, the more impatient I became with God answering prayer. I wanted Him to answer it when I was ready. Not later, but when I sent them up from down on my knees.
Today is a very special day for CR and I. Actually for our entire family, but especially us. You see, since we got married we prayed about a child. Then we got serious about the issue and tried and prayed some more. Then more and more. I never once doubted that God was still good to me, I just began to wonder if what I thought was in His plan for us really was. We began a fertility journey of what we thought would be super long in November. After tests, ultrasounds and many pricks for blood work, we were set and ready to undergo our first round of treatments on January 15th, 2010. My body was just not doing what it was supposed to do (not ovulating) at all. They did an ultrasound in December on the very day I was to ovulate according to the prescription I was on, and it just was not happening. On January 12th (last year it was a Tuesday) I just felt the need to take a pregnancy test. It came pack positive! I was at school, so I called the doctor in San Antonio to ask if the medicine could cause a false report. They were certain that it could not have happened after looking at my scans again, so they suggested I go to my doctor here. Sure enough, theirs read positive as well! That night CR was up at the stock show getting pigs ready for the sift the next morning, so I asked if he could at least come to the car to eat dinner with me. As he bit into his hamburger and struck a pacifier, tears just poured from my eyes. I could not stop them and he just looked at me with inquisitive eyes. All I could get out was, "God answers prayer, he' so good to us!" That Friday (of course after the pigs were done) we made our way to San Antonio to run more tests and the nurses and doctor were astonished. They could not figure out how it happened, because I was measuring right at 3 weeks pregnant and it was 3 weeks to the day that they had done the ultrasound to see if I was ovulating and NOTHING was happening in there. I told them it did not matter, God knew. I knew that God had this all in His plan and that He was going to take care of this precious baby every step of the way. There were many scares throughout my pregnancy, and even though I was nervous and worried, "God answers prayer" was always singing in my head. I knew he brought this about and what He begins, He brings to completion. (Phil. 1:6)
I took that test a year ago today and I am ever thankful and gracious for that moment. I will never forget a single step of that next week. Telling my parents, telling CR's parents, then waiting a few months to tell everyone else. I know we still have a wonderful, blessed journey to go with Kirby Rose, and I know she is His. Having a child of my own now, I almost feel like I can begin to grasp the love that Christ has for us. I know it is even so much deeper, but just this taste of endearing love and concern is so amazing. Amazing love.