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Monday, November 18, 2013

Celebration and mourning

Today was supposed to be a great day.  Today was supposed to be happy and warm fuzzy feeling all day.  Why you ask?  Because today I have been married to the love of my earthly life for 7 years.  Seven blessed years.  However, "the day" had a different plan…

Saturday we came back from Montgomery and noticed that Koda, our energetic, giddy, protector of the homestead Weimaraner, did not greet us.  This was really unusual.  She loves to roam from the barn to our house, but she knows when I am coming from about 2 miles away and always meets me in our driveway.  It's a comforting site when I make the turn from the county road into our gate and I see her silhouette standing there waiting for momma.  She tackles my legs with kisses and barrels over Kirby trying to show her how much she loves her, too.  Patton usually gives her a shriek or two and then she knows we are all in tow and safe.  Back to manning the farm she goes.  When she wasn't here Sunday morning I knew the inevitable was coming.  Either someone had picked her up (which was my honest prayer) or she had been hit.  I looked everywhere yesterday on my way to church and then to a shoot in Corpus . Nothing.  Then today C.R. had to move a tractor to town.  A tractor that put him 4 or 5 heads taller than when riding in his truck.  And he saw her.  She was in the ditch in front of our old house.  Thankfully (I guess) he said whatever hit her did it good and she would have died on impact.  Glad she didn't suffer.  My first thought was that she thought I left her since we were out of town.  But I know she knew better.

Koda and I sure had fun together.  We cried together, too.  Koda was here to help me heal after Gracie got kicked by a cow (gosh, these darn farm dogs).  Koda was there when I cried every time I took a pregnancy test for over 2 years.  She would just look at me with her crooked head as if to say, "what's wrong mom?"  Then she would snuggle with me in bed and make it all go away.  She trained with me for my first 1/2 marathon.  She ran with me every morning with Kirby.  She ran with me to the mailbox and back every day.  She ran with me, Kirby and Patton.  She ran a lot.  Kept me going when I wanted to quit.  She did not have a mean bone in her body, but I know she would attack on instant if she ever felt like I was threatened.  She had a good life, but it was way too short in my opinion.  She was just 5.

This past year has been tough.  I've heard rumors of the 7 year itch … that is not what has been tough.  We have just been learning to live life as 4 instead of 3, and that was a huge jump for us.  It has been a blessing, but not easy.  Both of us owning and managing our own businesses from home is hard thing to throw into that balance.  I am so thankful God blessed me with CR for this journey.  I know and I am reminded every single day that God spoke our marriage into existence.  His hand was in it from day one and is still in every move of it.  He has to be.  There is no way I could do this rock and roll, roller coaster called life with out Him as my guide and savior and my bearded man as my groom.  He has humbled me in ways that I know only divine intervention can do.  I never knew how impatient or selfish I was until I got married.  Ha.  ;)  God is gracious and loving and I am so thankful for that.  And for the institution of marriage.  And that marriage is God's priority.  He wants me (and you!!) to have the most amazing and blessed marriage you can ever have.  He wants you to love like you have never loved before.  He wants your marriage to be Heaven on Earth.  That is His will for you and your marriage; you can take that to the bank.

These pictures I feel sum up our marriage to an extent, so I thought I would share ...

This is my man, working hard in the middle of November and it being 90 degrees out.  Running a tractor and us bringing him lunch.  This is an occurrence that is often around here and I am so blessed to get to serve him lunch daily.

2 braids in our daughters hair.  2 very different and unique people in one person right there.  She is the best of both of us, and at times the worst of both of us.  We see so much of each other in her.  We prayed for his child since the beginning of "us".  Praise the Lord for her and what she is to us.


Marriage takes work with God as your teacher.  First of all, it takes work on you.  You must be willing to search your heart and allow Him to search you and change you.  Second, it takes you daily praying for your spouse.  


 The annual pig trip … where they go to get pigs and see corn over 7 foot tall.  This trip is so much a part of our lives … if it ever "quits", it will feel as if there is a hole.  It is a week apart and reminds me every time how much I need him in my life.  Not only to be a dad to the kids, but to be my best friend.  I miss my best friend when he is gone.

 Patton … our little man of a blessing.  Our little man that surprised us.  After getting pregnant so quickly after a miscarriage, he took us both by surprise, and brings so much joy to our lives daily.  He is  my calm and his daddy's charm.
 These are the kinds of pictures I take on our road trips.  Of us … of being cute and being snarly….
 These are the pictures he takes of "us" while on road trips.  He thinks I am cute when I sleep like that …these are just 1 day a part by the way.  Ha, think I have my "spot" figured out?
"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Gen 2:18 …. Oh my Lord, you definitely made me a helper suitable for me.  We are like Mut and Jeff,; Larry and Mo; Olive Oil and Poppeye.  We balance each other.  We are each other's rocks.  It is not always easy and not always pretty.  We are laughs.   We are love.  We are real.

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