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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"Faith ...

is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  Faith.  Faith.  It is what I live and breathe on.  I can not imagine not having faith in God.  Where would I be?  Totally lost and in a dark, dark place.  This past month I have dug deeper than ever in faith.  People tell me all the time, "You are so strong,", "If only I had your faith" , and more recently, "Lauren, you have so much faith, can you please pray for me ..."  I LOVE to be that person for people to feel they can call on.  Two things though; 1, honestly, I am so weak.  I feel like people that say these things put me on a pedestal when really, which brings me to number 2, YOU CAN HAVE IT TOO!  Yes, God makes our personalities and our dispositions different, so there may be "stronger" people in your life, but you can have the same faith that I do.  Jesus says, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."  Matthew 17:20.  I love to pray for people.  I love for people to come to me for comfort and support, but hear me now, I AM WEAK ... I AM JUST A MUSTARD SEED, but He says that is enough.  You can have it too!  Let me know if you want to know how. 
We lost my cousin Jenny to cancer the day before Thanksgiving.  We knew it was coming, but it still did not make it any easier.  I am definitely comforted, though, because I know she is with Jesus.  Last year at Christmas she pulled me into a back room and told me that she walked the aisle in church and she knew the Lord now.  It is amazing how her attitude changed with this cancer.  She had FAITH!  She knew that whether it was here on earth or up in Heaven, she would one day be healed.  Praise the Lord she now has a glorified body and is no longer suffering from the pains of deterioration on her body from the cancer.  We sure miss her, and the holidays will be hard, but oh what a feeling to know she is no longer in pain! 
My daddy was able to take a break from some of the hustle and bustle of owning his own business and spend a couple of weeks with us.  What a blessing this time was!  Kirby enjoyed him around that is for sure.  He taught her how to rock side -to-side, do 1,2,3 on the bed, and this funny swishing noise with her arms.  Cute as a button.  It was refreshing to actually get to visit with dad.  When we are in Montgomery we get time here and there, but we are usually there for such a short period of time that we just do "surface" visits.  You know what I am talking about, the, "how are things going?  hows the farm?  whats new with Kirby?"  These weeks were filled with much deeper thoughts and convos.  Our morning walks everyday were much more fun with him around!  I am so thankful that God allowed this time in our lives to have him here!  We already miss him and can not wait for the family to get to visit during Christmas time!
I have been putting off sharing something that is big on my heart for a few months now.  In my head I keep trying to rationalize and tell myself not to "go public" or put it out there until everything is ready to set and go.  I am one of those people that likes to have all the ducks in a row completely before I set out on an adventure.  Well, this morning in quiet time I read, "Too many of us stand on the dock waiting.  We want the ship in place, the gangplank perfectly positioned, the weather right, and an engraved invitation before we're willing to launch out.  It will never happen.  Dreams don't move toward us, we have to move toward them."  So, without much more ado ... I am going to start a photography business!  Don't ask me many questions because I do not have all the answers yet.  A couple of months ago I was uploading some pictures of Kirby (of course) and I said, "I wish I could do this all the time with other kids, too."  God whispered, "Why don't you?"  I tried to come up with a million reasons not to, but none of them came to complete thoughts.  One thing is for sure, I do not want to go back to teaching any time soon.  I do not want to go get a night job teaching in Kingsville.  I do not want to miss time with my family.  We are making it (by God's grace, praise Him) ... not missing a beat without me working.  God is good and faithful all of the time.  I want to do this because it is something I have been passionate about since my yearbook days in high school, but just never gave enough time and effort to learn more about it.  So stay tuned ... I am working on getting a blog/website set up just for that.  I am taking some mentoring sessions from a photographer whom I adore.  I am trying to learn from the best so that I can offer the best.  Working through names right now ... I thought I had the perfect name, but it is already taken.  Imagine that!  I have faith that this is where God wants me to go for awhile, in order to be home and still take care of what His word calls us to do. 
"By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. "  Hebrews 11:27

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