Bored lately? Go lead a Bible Study

or something along those lines ... do something that is completely out of your comfort zone and gets the devil and his army on high alert and stirred up like crazy.  Like if satan doesn't stop you, God is going to be getting a whole lot of glory and people are going to see Him on his throne and the devil wants none of that.  Just reading your Bible for the first time or more than usual, that is enough to get him knocked out of his socks and ready to come after you.  If you do not believe in spiritual warfare and the devil pulling all stops to get his agenda seen, just check out our last 4 weeks.  

When I got home from our very first Wednesday night of the Bible study, Children of the Day, that a friend of mine and I are leading at our church, Bowen had a 102 fever.  Sweet CR had stayed home with him and Patton so that they could get to bed at a decent time and when I saw Bowen I knew he was not well.  The next day the fever was still there and he was refusing to eat more than about 2 ounces of formula within a 5 hour period.  That afternoon I took him in and the doctor said he had an ear infection and virus, don't be too concerned about him not eating, throat red so probably hurts, etc. Well this game went on for almost 2 weeks with him.  That following Sunday Kirby came down with the virus, with a little bit higher fever that wouldn't break.  She also had an ear infection and by day 6 of the fever, we finally saw some relief.  Next it was my turn.  Then back to Bowen.  This time around he was really getting puny so I took him in on a Sunday, nothing they could do, fluid in ears but no longer infected ... but by Tuesday they were definitely infected, doctor called in a stronger antibiotic, follow course.  The next day as I was preparing to load my car up for Bible study, Bowen got extremely fussy and then finally calmed down ... picked him up and he had, lets just say, a 10 of a diaper on the scale of nasty.  When I opened it I could not believe by eyes.  Fear drenched my entire body.  I will save you the picture, but it was one of the scariest mom moments of my life.  It appeared to be a diaper full of blood.  I asked CR his opinion and he said it looked like a diaper full of blood and so did my father-in-law.  Thats when I began to get clammy and really nervous.  I don't "freak out" but this was freak out worthy and I was borderline.  We called the pediatrician and were advised to get him to the children's ER as soon as possible to have an ultrasound of his bowels and tests run.  Diaper in suit, we loaded up and flew to Corpus.  A few hours later we find out red stools is a side effect of the new antibiotic he was on.  Praise the Lord, but I was peeved none the less ... I missed my night to give a testimony.  Continue on to this week, CR had to be in San Antonio for a few days and low and behold on Tuesday Kirby showed signs of having a UTI.  Scheduled an appointment for her the next morning along with Bowen's 6 month check up that was already on the board.   And as I was getting Patton to bed, I noticed he was warm, took his temperature and would you believe HE had spiked a fever?   I thought to myself, "Oh boy, tomorrow is going to be one for the books!"

I prayed most of Tuesday night for a smooth day.  Knowing that I was going to have a 5 year old doll, 3 year old wild hair, and 6 month old booger in tow at the doctors office I was a little anxious.  But I woke up Wednesday morning with this incredible peace that could only come from Him.  I made sure to get in a workout and listened to a sermon while pumping iron because I knew I needed both to survive the day.  Single moms and military wives, I applaud you daily.  I just had to do this for a few days, when I think about doing it all the time I get a twitch ... I know too, though, that God has a way to get you through it.  

I tell you what, we have been blessed with some awesome kiddos.  I don't brag on them much but I will now ... what I thought was going to be a disaster, ended up blessing my heart more than any other day we have had yet.  We were in the car, doctors office, lab office, car again, and church from 9-5 and I did not have a single blow up or nervous breakdown.  Holla!  Only by the power of God!  I asked Dr. Guthrie when he came in, "Do we sound like a funny farm from out there?"  He laughed and said, "Not at all ... sounds much better than most and like y'all are having a good time."  I mean y'all, I had all 3 in a bathroom with me trying to get little doll to pee in a cup.  Can you even imagine the hilarity?  And the inquisitive look from Patton as I did such task???  And then when I told him it was his turn to go potty .... heavens, he thought he was having to pee in a cup, too.  Moments for the cookie jar indeed.

Kirby ended up having a pretty hardcore UTI, and Bowen ... poor thing ... still has the dang ear infections.  Possibly RSV, too.  The swab from the week and a half before was negative, but every other sign lines up with that so, there you go.  6 trips to the doctor and 1 to the ER all within 4 weeks of each other.  Praise the Lord for providing an insurance plan with copays.  Aye yae yae.

Want to know what I have learned thus far from all of this?  I know this pales in to comparison what some go through with kiddos and being sick.  I have a long list of children that are terminally ill that I continuously pray for, but that doesn't mean that this isn't hard in and of itself.  In Matthew 18:3 it says,  "And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."  So, that is the lesson ...

Yesterday when we got out of the car, the long day behind us, Kirby and Patton ran around in our yard with pink flamingoes that had appeared 2 days before.  Kirby asked if she could go in and get her super hero cape (from my awesome bestie Bethany!).  When she came out I asked her what it was for and she looked at me (like how do you NOT know this mom) and said, "Because I am a super-hero-flamingo-trainer!"  And her and Patton proceeded to pretend to train and heard the plastic pink birds.  I just sat there, holding Bowen in the wooden rocking chair and took it all in.  My mind slightly raced to what I was supposed to be doing (opening up in prayer at our Bible study) but then came back to what was before me.  Innocence, pure delight, joy, not a care in the world, wide-eyed inspiration and imagination.  Fully knowing that I was there to watch them and protect them, just like I knew God was fully there watching, protecting and guiding me along this time of tested patience and endurance.  I had to become like a little child these last few weeks and fully, fully rely on His power to sustain me.  Sleep is completely a luxury far gone, caffeine and workouts help for the most part, but I full well know that the only way I have gotten through and will continue to get through this life is with Him.  But I daily have to humble myself like a little child, come to him stripped of my guilty shame, humble and meek and say, "Guide me, heck carry me through this day."  I will not hand over my joy, innocence, and life to satan ... he can throw kinks, but my God is bigger.  

 Bowen at 6 months, Patton at 5.  I see Ray on the left, and Nick on the right.  

 How is it that this happened so quickly?

 She had a 103 fever here ... whoda thunk it?

 Kirby in a nutshell ... 

 Why yes, those are pajamas, fleece pajamas on our little doll ... while they feed cows.

 Patton lines his cows up like this everyday ... everyday...

 Poor Patton ... Daddy tried to give him a haircut ... with pig shears .... and granny cried.  A new country album debuting this song coming soon ...

 She was being a flamingo, however, she seems to be doing the Heisman. 

 We work out to stay sane together!

   “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! "

1 John 3:1

"They are 5 today ...

but tomorrow they are 18."  This comment from the showmanship judge stopped me in my tracks.  Tears began to flow down my eyes as I tried to wipe them away before my husband could catch me and say, "oh kind, why are you crying?"  Thankfully no one saw ... if they had, I would have really lost it when they asked what was wrong.

This week had already been a bottle of emotions for me.  The day before was Patton's birthday and he turned 3.  3.  My sweet, charming little boy that I had dreamed of since a little girl was now this little man child.  He woke up wanting to go tee tee in the potty and the words coming from his precious mouth seemed so much more clear.  He also decided he didn't need help getting his shoes on.  Who cares that they were 3 sizes too big, he did it on his own and was ever so proud.

This week was stock show week, which has so many memories and emotions already for me, and our kids aren't even officially show age yet.

You see, 6 years ago that week I took a test in the high school bathroom, and against all odds it came out positive.  6 years ago I heard Kirby's little, barely there heartbeat for the first time.  6 years ago I brought my husband a hamburger to the pig barn parking lot with a pacifier in it and watched as he looked at it in complete confusion.  6 years ago we laughed until we cried and then praised God together right there in that very spot.  A time I will forever have burned in my heart.  God is such a gracious God!

4 years ago I was in pain, deep pain in my heart as I sat in the waiting room to get blood work done after a miscarriage.  I remember CR telling me I should just stay home from the show that year but all I wanted to do was take Kirby there to have memories and get my mind off of what had happened.  I knew God had a plan, but was still sad.  God is such a comforting God as I was able to laugh and snuggle my precious Kirby as she looked on in awe at the pig show.

3 years ago I was sitting in a hospital bed with sweet Patton, nursing him and waiting for the pig show to end so that daddy could come pick us up.  I was freezing cold but remember having the warmest heart as I held a sweet, newborn boy.  A boy.  A boy I had prayed for since I could remember.  God is such a sovereign God.

1 year ago I had been oh so sick, and freezing cold as I went to hear Bowen's heartbeat for the very first time and see the perfectly shaped beginnings of a baby.  It was all a secret still so I swallowed my nassau and marched up to the pig show to see my precious Kirby playing with all her buddies she had made that morning while hanging out with Daddy.  God is such a gracious God.

Now do you see why the tears just came?  Didn't take much, but there they were.  Grace - God giving us what we don't even deserve.  When I see my 3 precious kids, I am reminded of God's grace.  I do not deserve these kids one bit, but oh how I am thankful.  And oh how I am sorry for the times I wish time would speed up to get us through a rough patch.  But with those rough patches come so many memories, growth, and love.  We are in the trenches, mommas, but hang tight, this one will be over soon as a different one begins.  There will be tears, but there will also be laughter, oh sweet laughter.  That innocent sound of a child's giggle .... grace.

{Can't they stay like this and want to play American Girl Doll and craft time forever?}

As I watched Kirby prance around following Chase the pig, I couldn't help but chuckle.  The bounce and pep in her step is just like her momma's, but the determination and drive in her eyes is from her daddy.  The grin from ear to ear is her momma's, but the stubborn flick of the wrist as she shows her pig is straight from the male gene.  What a combo she is!

 This grin is as good as it gets.  She was so happy and had the best time.  What made her day even more than getting to show a pig?  The fact that she had rows of people cheering her on.  Kirby sure is blessed to have such amazing friends and family in her life.  Friends that had been up at the barn all day, but stuck around to see her show 2 hours later.  Friends that came out of there way to come, even just to watch her go in the ring for 3 minutes.  She may not truly realize what it meant that night, but CR and I do, and we will make sure she knows as she grows up.  Kirby, if you are reading this years later --- YOU ARE LOVED.  By many.  

The morning after the stock show was a rough one, and I was feeling ever defeated.  Kirby decided she suddenly didn't know how to put on her own socks and shoes, and Patton refused to use the potty again.  This after the pediatrician made me feel guilty that I had him in a diaper at his 3 year check up.  CR was on the road 300 miles away to get some cattle for my daddy, and I just needed to cry.  So I did, and then I reminisced about the day before and my epiphany during the show.  Thank you, Lord, for humbling me just in time.  And like I told the man at HEB today who told me I was a pro since Bowen was my third ... "Ya, until they show me I'm not!"

These are the kinds of pictures I get when I let him out of the farm and in to town.  He goes and buys a fast food cap.  I can't even handle the amount of redneckness in this picture.

This kid right here ... he is the God given reason I have been able to breathe and slow down.  I know that sounds completely backwards ... how in the world could adding another child allow you to slow down.  He has made me.  He eats slow ... like would take him an hour to nurse slow.  He burps slow.  Nothing he does is fast.  Thank you, Bowen, for slowing me down.  And thank you, Lord for giving me him to remind me to slow down.  From the get go I had to slow down with him ... even before he was born.  God's grace in a carseat.

 "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

2 Corinthians 12:8-9