Welcome to the World

Bowen Bass Patrick .... you are loved.

When you have a C-section, the worst part about it in my opinion is that you miss so much of what goes on.  After they whisk the baby away, they still have to put all your innards back in their place, stitch you up, and then haul you down to recovery for about an hour.  I started thinking (which is always dangerous) I wonder if I could get someone to capture all of that for me ... I really want to see Patton and Kirby's faces when they are surprised with a baby brother or sister.  I want to see this new child getting their first bath.  I want to the reactions of my family when they hear the name.  I don't want to miss anything.  After such a wonderful experience in January with Michelle of Pinkle Toes, I knew she was the girl for the job if she felt like it would work.  She agreed but we both thought it would be a LONG shot for all the pieces to fall right into place.  She lives in Austin so the timing we just didn't think would pan out.  With my touch and go pregnancy of contractions starting so early on, I just wasn't sure when to tell her to be here.  We communicated after each doctor's appointment to keep her up to date and would you believe ..... it worked.  She is amazing.   By FAR, this is the best investment I have ever made.  

 Another amazing thing about God's timing .... CR's grandmother had a heart appointment on the first floor of the hospital and was able to come up and see Bowen just minutes after he was born.  And I would have missed that ....

 I love how (3rd picture down) Kirby and Granny have the same reaction going on.

 Preacher just so happened to be at the hospital, too.  Bowen, you sure know how to draw a crowd already.

 Daddy's hands are soft and gentle ...

 Patton was not really sure what to think.  He kept pointing to the white clamp on his umbilical cord saying "He doesn't like his cheese."  I think he thought it was string cheese.

 I don't know if, aside from my sister and I, my father has ever held a baby so new.  Priceless moment for me.

 This may be my favorite picture of the whole lot.  My father-in-law is an amazing grandfather.  He is a gentle soul and I feel like this captures that so well.

 Can you tell someone was tuckered out?

We had no idea if you were going to be a Bowen Bass or a Corbin Ruth, but the moment CR stood up when they said, "look daddy" I knew you were a Bowen.  The look of relief on your daddy's eyes said it all.  You have already captured our hearts and your big sister and brudder are in awe.  Hang on tight, bud, this is a wonderful, crazy ride you have joined and we could not be more blessed.

"Beautiful are the feet that bring good news."  Isaiah 52:7

My very favorite person on the universe

has a birthday today.  Words can not describe how much this man means to me.  He knew from day 1, 5 seconds in that we would be together for ever and ever; I didn't but I am so thankful he never gave up.

I have learned so much from this man ... from his daily "bits of useless information" to never ending, selfless love.

He is the best daddy and you can see it in our daughter's eyes ....

CR is the hardest worker I have ever met.  Not only for our family, but for many others as well.  When he commits to "help" in anyway, he gives it 110%.  I am never afraid where he leads us, because I know he always has our best interest with God first in his mind.  

This song has always been one of my favorites, and I was recently reminded how much I loved it when our photographer used it in our video of Bowen's birth (ya ya, I know ... that will come soon).  I find it super cool that someone else saw this song in our marriage and our life.

"To Make You Feel My Love"

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
Down on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of the earth for you

Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

Each verse I see a distinct time in our life already and that is why it is so dear to me.  Cecil Ray, you are the most perfect husband that I never dreamed of ... you are so much better than my silly ol' dreams could come up with.  

Happy 33rd birthday best friend; there is no one in this universe I would rather be getting old and crazy with!

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

Ephesians 5:25

Your Worth

When you are pregnat and married to a farmer/rancher, by the third baby you are used to hearing things such as, "She is starting to strut" or "My wife will be springing about then so I can't make it" and "So doc, that's like when a cow (fill in the blank with any gestational term here)?"  You see, female humans and female cattle are similar in their anatomy and gestational periods.  CR is very knowledgeable about everything pregnancy now because of this ... he could probably almost be an obgyn.  You just get used to him picking up a lady parts diagram in the office, turning it upside down and going "oh, I see now how that works .... are these uteran horns?"

Thank goodness we are not just like cows.  For one, I am thankful that my afterbirth doesn't hang around for awhile afterwards.  I am thankful I nor any other animal eats it, too.  I am even more thankful that just because a calf doesn't latch well, that I get the truck.  You see, for those of you not familiar with raising cattle, if a momma has a bad teet or can't nurse well, she gone.

In comes Bowen and my journey thus far.  As soon as the nurse handed him to me in the hostpital you could tell he was starving.  It had been a little over 2 hours since I had him before I got to hold him, so he was looking hard for the goods.  He latched on right away very well ... so we all thought.
It looked good.  It felt like it had in the past.  By the 2nd night, he had lost quiet a bit of weight and they were concerned about dehydration so they had me nursing him every 2 hours and supplementing a little bit.  The next evening he had lost some more.  The lactation consultant came by, watched him latch and said it all looked good but may want to have him looked at for tongue tie.

I put that suggestion by the wayside because it didn't look to me like he was tongue tied and by day 5 he had gained back 3 ounces.  Fast forward to him being 9 days old and I cried everytime he nursed.  It hurt so bad, I was raw, and it was taking over an hour and he still never seemed done.  Not only did I cry because it hurt but because I so desperately wanted him to nurse.  I began to listen to Satans lies telling me I was a worthless mom if I couldn't even nurse my own child.  I kept being reminded that this was the last go, so I had to fight through and make it work.  I began to put my value as a mom in being able to nurse my youngin.  That is not where Christ wanted my heart at all.  It was not until a friend snapped me out of it and reminded me that "nursing or not, that holds no worth in what kind of mother you are."  Thank you for my sweet sisters in Christ who always get my mind and heart back on the right track.

I started researching what causes chapped and achyness and out came tongue tie as the first response.  The more I read on it, the more I knew "yes, this is exactly what is going on."  I immediately called the number of the doctor that the lactation consultant gave me and was able to get in the very next day.  Sure enough, he had 4 areas that were tied - there are technical terms but lets just go with under the tongue, both sides of his mouth, and his upper lip.  They were able to use a laser and take care of them right there in the office.  Praise the Lord we found it and took care of it early.


A week and a half later we still are having some struggles nursing because he is having to retrain his tongue.  Some sessions are great; others are not.  BUT, I do not get depressed about it anymore because I know my worth is not there.  My value and worth are in Christ and He has given me this sweet angel to take care of on earth.  He trusts that I will do all I can and my best to ensure he is safe.  Some times I pump and bottle to save us both the struggle.  Some times I sit and say lets work this out.  Either way, I know that Bowen is getting nutrition and I am feeding my soul with God's word and not Satan's lies.

So, to other momma's out there that struggle in some way with this, quit looking at those mommas that are rockstar nursers.  If you have to pump, give formula, or hang from the monkey bars to feed your baby THAT IS OK.  It does not make you less of a mom or a human being.  And, thankfully, it does not mean you get the truck and end up on someones dinner plate!

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139:13-15