This time of year

is tough.  This time of year, I am thankful that I have a husband who most of the year is home by 6 pm. This time of year, I find myself on my praying knees more often (asking for forgiveness more than help).  This time of year, I am reminded of where I am and why God has placed me here as a farmer's wife and mom to two precious souls.  This time of year I get uptight pretty easily, so forgive me now.  While daddy is doing this until about 11:00 every night, 

 we stay in our pajamas a little bit longer or get in them a little bit earlier

and Kirby plays dentist and doctor on her brother.  

 We take baths outside in our porch pool.

 And spray said porch with food coloring, baking soda, and vinegar.

 We also make dinner every night for daddy and the hands, then drive out to the field to get to see him for just a few minutes before having to come back home for bed time.

Thankfully last night CR and the guys were able to quit early enough to enjoy a 4th of July celebration with family.  The cousins love each other like peanut butter loves jelly.

Since daddy and Paw were going to be on the tractor all day, we decided to take a short road trip up to Hilje for lunch.  Tomorrow is my sister's birthday, like we really needed a reason to go, so we met up with them after they got Kyleigh from camp in Columbus.  It was too quick as usual, but the fish and deer were a hit.  Thankfully the ride home was much nicer on mommy's ears than the ride there.  

I loose my patience, I am tested more than I ever thought possible, and their strong will amazes me.   

But at the end of the day when they do this without prompting, I know they know they are loved.  I know they know they are safe, cared for and dear to me.  

………………………….

I saw this last night and it brought me to tears of conviction …. 

In my prayer journal a few months back I actually prayed some very similar words.  That God would grant me the wisdom to know and the guidance I need to route Kirby's strong will to a road that points to Christ.  That her ball of fire passion for whatever she does, would always be done for the glory of God and the furthering of His kingdom.  Then when I saw this last night I thought to myself, "but Lauren, what are you putting into action to do that?"  You see, with all this craziness called kids going through toddlerism (again, word?), with Kirby coming into sleep with us at some point every night, I have been missing out on my 5:30 am quite time.  I have lost my most important time of day.  And I have not done anything to get it back.  This is me and this is honest.  I desperately need that time, especially at times like this.  My quiet time journal and Bible have dust on them.  My heart has dust on it.  I need that time back; not only for my relationship with Christ, but also for my kids relationship with Christ.  What we have in our hearts over flows out of our mouths and our actions.  My kids and husband have been getting exhaust pipe dust the last few weeks and they need some fresh air that can only come from the precious blood of the Lamb.  Please be in prayer for me as I claim it back.  And please be in prayer for our farmers, not just mine, but all of them across the country that help keep America, well, America.

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Luke 6:45