GAP

When I was about four years old I learned a song at St. John's Mother's Day Out that was so simple and said, "God answers prayer, God answers prayer, God answers prayer, He' so good to me." It was a verse out of God is so Good. This song was always very comforting to me, and even as I grew up when I struggled with issues this verse came to mind. I often found myself singing it as I took an exam, dealt with boy issues, and especially when we had tragedies with our friends. I have always known God is so good and that He answers prayer. The older I got, though, the more impatient I became with God answering prayer. I wanted Him to answer it when I was ready. Not later, but when I sent them up from down on my knees.
Today is a very special day for CR and I. Actually for our entire family, but especially us. You see, since we got married we prayed about a child. Then we got serious about the issue and tried and prayed some more. Then more and more. I never once doubted that God was still good to me, I just began to wonder if what I thought was in His plan for us really was. We began a fertility journey of what we thought would be super long in November. After tests, ultrasounds and many pricks for blood work, we were set and ready to undergo our first round of treatments on January 15th, 2010. My body was just not doing what it was supposed to do (not ovulating) at all. They did an ultrasound in December on the very day I was to ovulate according to the prescription I was on, and it just was not happening. On January 12th (last year it was a Tuesday) I just felt the need to take a pregnancy test. It came pack positive! I was at school, so I called the doctor in San Antonio to ask if the medicine could cause a false report. They were certain that it could not have happened after looking at my scans again, so they suggested I go to my doctor here. Sure enough, theirs read positive as well! That night CR was up at the stock show getting pigs ready for the sift the next morning, so I asked if he could at least come to the car to eat dinner with me. As he bit into his hamburger and struck a pacifier, tears just poured from my eyes. I could not stop them and he just looked at me with inquisitive eyes. All I could get out was, "God answers prayer, he' so good to us!" That Friday (of course after the pigs were done) we made our way to San Antonio to run more tests and the nurses and doctor were astonished. They could not figure out how it happened, because I was measuring right at 3 weeks pregnant and it was 3 weeks to the day that they had done the ultrasound to see if I was ovulating and NOTHING was happening in there. I told them it did not matter, God knew. I knew that God had this all in His plan and that He was going to take care of this precious baby every step of the way. There were many scares throughout my pregnancy, and even though I was nervous and worried, "God answers prayer" was always singing in my head. I knew he brought this about and what He begins, He brings to completion. (Phil. 1:6)
I took that test a year ago today and I am ever thankful and gracious for that moment. I will never forget a single step of that next week. Telling my parents, telling CR's parents, then waiting a few months to tell everyone else. I know we still have a wonderful, blessed journey to go with Kirby Rose, and I know she is His. Having a child of my own now, I almost feel like I can begin to grasp the love that Christ has for us. I know it is even so much deeper, but just this taste of endearing love and concern is so amazing. Amazing love.