The last time we left off, I had brown hair. I went through hi lights this summer, then begged her to get it back to my natural color, and now, once again ... can you guess ... I had to add some blonde peekaboo's. Some things you just can't quit. But now there are also some natty grey hairs peekabooing, too. It's what I call a fun smorgasbord of colors.
The last time we chatted, I also went into a lengthy soap box about listening fervently to the Lord and digging deeper than I ever had before. I am assuming the reason I was hearing Him so clearly was because I was getting deep into His word as much as I could. It's like the best friend of yours - the more you know her and her character, the better you "get" what she is saying. Same thing with God. The more we know who He is, what His voice sounds like amongst the crazy voices of this world, the more we will "get" Him. All of this I learned through Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. I highly, highly, highly recommend you quit reading here and go get the book if you have never read it. But then come back and pick up here.
A few things to know as you continue to read this post:
If God calls you to it, He will prepare you for it. He will equip you when he calls you. "Equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:21 ESV
God has perfect timing, and all of our life events and circumstances can be used together. Jesus said to the disciples in John 16:12 "I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now."
Don't you sometimes wish you could see the end result? If you have any kind of planner personality like me, you want to see it all so that you can organize what happens when, with whom, and maybe even the why of it. But God ... in His perfectness, knows that we cannot handle it all at once. So we must just "do the next thing."
Have you asked yourself yet, "What is she getting at?" I promise I am getting there.
A few more things to know as you continue, in case you didn't or have forgotten:
I have loved to write since I can remember. I recall my 4th grade English teacher tried to get me to not write so much at the same time she was trying to pry just one page out of many of my classmates.
I battled an eating disorder for over 10 years between high school, college, and the beginning of my marriage. (I promise this is relevant.)
I began college as an Elementary Education major because I longed to be a teacher, but through circumstances I had to take a different path, ended up graduating with an English degree and then went through an alternative program to become a high school English teacher. Love how that worked out! Not the route I planned, but it still all came together. And with that extra year, I met the love I never dreamt of! Swoon.
Speaking of that love, since our early years, CR and I have always joked about our lives being a hilarious story and that one day I need to "add that one to my book" ... "dedicate the beard to an entire chapter" .... so on and so forth.
It has always been a far off plan of mine to one day write a book. I have always planned, dreamt, desired, whatever you want to call it, to one day write a book to the pre-teen group of gals about eating disorders, how they can totally overcome you before you even know it, and change your entire life. I know that the Lord allowed me to go through that battle for a reason, and I have always imagined that it was to one day share my story with girls across the world. I have given my testimony on it a few times, so I thought for sure that was the path He was prepping me for. And maybe He is.
Late last Spring, however, as my Bible study group and I were finishing up Children of the Day by Beth Moore, the Lord laid something very heavy on my heart. An unshakable moment. We came across a verse in 2 Thessalonians 3:1 ... "Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we ask you to pray for us. Pray that the Lord's message will spread rapidly and be honored wherever it goes, just as when it came to you." I wrote out next to my study, "How is the best way to swiftly spread the Word of the Lord across the world?" As I was sitting there, writing came to my mind. Books can travel across oceans, to places that don't have Internet to read blogs. Books can be shared in many countries, and translated to other languages. Books ... books ... books. I had to literally shake my head a few times until we were finished for the night.
A few days passed and as CR and I were eating lunch together at our kitchen counter, I laughingly joked after he told me a story about his dad that I should just write a kids book with his dad as the real life, male Amelia Bedilia persona. And that is where it all began.
I continued to feel hard pressed to put this into action, not just a joke. I wrote a prayer to the Lord that evening, that I had no clue what he wanted me to do with this idea, but I was laying it all down at his feet. The next day I got up and wrote a story. I heard him clearly through it all. I put it away and thought it was silly. Dumb. No one would like this. I asked the Lord, "Now? I don't have time to do this. I have 3 kids 5 and under." I'm sure he laughed and said, "I know, I gave you those blessings." I told him there was no way, "Don't you know we are entering harvest time?" He responded, "Yes dear, I know. Now is the time. Write."
"A children's book, Lord? That market is probably so over saturated, I won't even get a call back."
"Lauren, just obey." Clearer than anything I had ever heard before.
I sent a text to a prayer partner of mine. I didn't want them to know what was going on, because I did not want anyone's voice distracting me, but I definitely needed a warrior or two praying for a clear head and to be able to hear His words, not mine. Discernment, clarity, and direction were what I asked for and she prayed with no questions asked. If you don't have a prayer partner, go on and get ya one.
I checked, double checked, and then triple checked my motives. "Not my will, but yours Lord." I asked over and over, "Why is it you want me to do this, Lord?"
"To share my truths to children all over. Lauren, just be obedient and write."
So that is what I did. To the best of my ability. I have no idea what the Lord has planned for this, and I am thankful for that. If I knew, I might not have taken the step to obey. I took the story I had written as a rough draft, a publisher loved it, and we will have a book out before the end of the year. The release date to stores is January 3rd, but they say I will have them in my hand before then.
It is a simple truth. It is a little funny. It is all based on true stories that happen around here all the time. My prayer is that I can do a small children's series eventually, and then possibly graduate to the preteen level and somehow incorporate my battle into a book. If not, that is ok. This is God's plan and I am just trying to be obedient and "do the next thing" (Priscilla Shirer) It could just be this one. He knows and with that, I am content.
I will keep you updated as I receive information from the publisher. It is currently in the printing stage and should be done there within a month. This, this by far is the most exciting obedience step the Lord has had me take besides marrying CR (for those of you that know that story, its ok to laugh). Nothing I would have ever imagined.
"In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:3
So even though this isn't what I thought or intended to write, He has orchestrated our life ... all of this ... into one beautiful, at times questionable on our end and scary, story. Through it all though, there has been an amazing sense of peace that could only come from the Prince of Peace.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 NIV
