4 years ago

was my last first day of school as a teacher.  I did not know it at the time, but the Lord plans our steps.  I can not believe how quickly these years have flown by.   The days from time to time are longer than ever, but the weeks, months, and years seem like a flash of light.

I remember very clearly at lunch time that day thinking something was going on, but telling myself I was a hypochondriac first time pregnant lady and all was fine; probably more excitement to meet the rest of your class periods.  I waited until 8th period when I met all my students to finally step out and call the doctor to let them know what I was feeling.  They told me to get right in.  4 hours and a C-section later, I was holding our precious little Kirby Rose.  I will never forget each of those moments for as long as I live.  God is so good, he's so good to me.

If you have ever met Kirby, you know she is a smile and eyes you will never forget.  Her heart is always spunky and her mind is always racing.  She is so much of her daddy and so much of me all in one bundle of joy.  Thank you Lord, for this precious child that we prayed for.  She is beyond anything I ever could have imagined.  You are so good, so good to me.

This year we decided to keep her celebration small ... just to family, because that is big enough.  I want Kirby to grow up knowing we celebrate her life for sure, but that it is not about the presents or the hoopla, it is about the people who love you in your life.  The relationships that Christ has laid before you and what each of them mean to you.

A friend of mine made these adorable cookies.  The pictures do not do them justice because I left them in the sealed bags.  The top series of pictures is of Kirby holding up the Olaf body parts.  How cute is that?  They got to build their own snowman in August!  

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Psalm 127:3

My life on Earth

is full of oozie, gooey, yummy, fresh out of the oven cookie moments…you know, the ones that make it (or don't) to the cookie jar.  I just can't keep up.  In between the really good cookies, though, there are a few burnt ones that always happen to make it in a batch or two.  You know, the ones that get really stuck to the bottom of the pan and you have to scrub, let soak, scrub some more and then run the cookie sheet through the dish washer kind of stuck.  Sometimes those burnt ones end up getting more attention than the yummy, gooey ones do, but that is necessary, and in life, it makes me humbly reminded of how much I need a Savior to wash me clean each day.  Some moments need more scrubbing, soaking, prying, crying, soaking, washing, runin' through the wash than others, but I am rejoicing that I mean enough to Him to take the time to do that.  For now, you are just getting some of the ooooey gooey goodness of my life, because yesterday was rough on me and I am still nursing the wounds from the scouring pads!

 This was my attempt at getting bubble pictures for their bathroom wall.  I love them … cause this is them in a nutshell … or bubble bath if you will.

 Picnics are a must to get us out of the house … even if they are at Sonic!

 This girl wants to be so much like me … she has to wear her running shoes everyday, no matter what she is wearing.  Dress, even better.  Today we drew the line and did not let her wear them to church, which of course commenced with a fall on the floor meltdown.  The nap was captured and for sure a save this in the cookie jar moment for me.  Last Sunday both kids napped for almost 3 hours.  That never happens and I almost did not know what to do with myself since CR was on the picker.  I got some rest, which I think it was what helped propel me through this past week.  God always knows when you need, what you need, and he will give it to you if you are in the right place.

 Eating breakfast on the tractor because she wanted to do what the guys do in the field.  

 Thursday morning I thought for sure I had fallen off the rocker.  I loaded up the kids and made a 450 mile round trip road trip to visit my dearest bestest friend and her sweet kiddos.  I planned it to meet up with my mom, sister and nieces, then trucked on over to see my cousin a few more miles up the road.  I wanted to visit one more friend but the traffic and kids temperament were suggesting otherwise.  We made it in 12 hours.  Ha.  

Although the picker being at John Deere in the middle of harvest is NOT a good thing, the moments there were.  I really miss my husband this time of year.  We just go through the days kind of like clock work, and only get to visit when he gets home at night for a few minutes before my eyes can't stay awake any longer.  He suggested the kids and I go home while he waited for them to finish up on the machine and I told him, "No, I would rather wait here with you. "  Even though we were just sitting, we were sitting as a family.  Patton was asleep and Kirby was bouncing out of her seat, but we were all together.  I did not want the picker to be ready any time soon.  In fact, the selfish side of me was hoping for Monday morning completion.

…….

I love quieting my silly mind enough to hear God's presence.  His peace is amazing, over flowing, and the desire of my heart.  This song softly plays in my head throughout my days right now.

1. 
   
   When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well with my soul.
   …..
   
   
   My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
   
   
   It is Well with My Soul
   Horatio Spafford
   
   

Your grace is enough

This past week I was really wishing I had Ree Drummond's phone number.  I had the sudden urge to call her up and ask her a question.  Not a question about a recipe.  Not a question about photography or homeschooling either.  Not a question most people would want to ask her.   I wanted to ask her, from one farmer/rancher's wife and mom of toddlers to another, how did you do it when they were this age?  At the age where mom rules their world.  At the age where they can't just go with daddy on the tractor yet or help with cattle for the day.  At the age where it is just you and them all day from dawn till way past dusk, and everything is dramatic in the almost 4 year olds life and everything is dangerous in the 18 month olds life.  I know I have many friends whose husbands work all day and some that even don't get to come home every night (I am thankful for that) and I could pry their brains for some advice; however, none of them live far away from neighbors or a park or a pool or a movie theater or another human semi close to their age to just get some adult contact with.  This harvest season has been the hardest on me yet, but I am so thankful every day that CR walks out the door to the field, because it is a blessing to have a harvest to harvest.  You get that?  It's been a few years since we have had a full on harvest … I might go as far to say as we have not had a full harvest since the kids have been here.  I know CR was finishing harvest when Kirby was born, but all the years since have been odd.

We have finally gotten into a place where we make it each day … I always tell myself, "If you can make it till 4:30, then you're good."  For some reason that is the magic time.  After that, we hit routine mode and everything goes smoother.   Get dinner going for the field guys, feed the kiddos, pack the dinner and take to the field, then home for bedtime routine.  Maybe this is telling me something … maybe all the rest of the day should be more routine, too.

Brother Bill said something last week in his sermon that really, really, really spoke to me.  Like, I slapped myself on the head and said "duh Lauren" after he made his point.  He said, "If God has called you to something, whatever it may be, then he will fully equip you to carry it out."  My first thought was photography and I felt totally guilty for that (but I am real with you so the guts of me is what you get) … He called me to quit teaching and start a stay at home career, and has blessed every step of the way beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  He equipped me with amazing mentors, skill, and continues to bless me with clients every single day.  However, even before that (and here is the duh, palm to forehead moment) he called me to be a mom.  First Kirby's momma and then Patton's.  Therefore, HE. WILL. FULLY. EQUIP!  That means you too, momma.  Any of you moms out there, you know it is hard and sometimes not pretty, but He will completely, utterly, entirely, equip us to get through each day.  And to not only get through, but to bless our getting through because we are doing what he called us to do.  Hardest, most precious job ever.  And you've got all you need in His strength. So why do we worry, fret, get impatient, and freak out from time to time …. because we are human and we need him.  Thank you Lord for your grace.  And for loving me in all my freak out on my children moments.

 Dinner drop off and visit to the field is a favorite of ours.

 Cousin visits always help break up the monotony.

 Kyleigh got to stay a little extra to help around the farm and earn some money.

 She prepared the dinner for us one night ;)

 A sweet reminder of our Creator and his mercies.

Meltdowns … remind me it's good to be persistent now.

 Oh hey, just one of Patton's new games … 

 Kyleigh got crazy with the paint.

 Here is my attempt at the chronological events of grain harvest … my city folks will love this!

Combine headed down the middle of the road, stopping traffic I am sure, to get to the field.

 Combining (cutting) the grain.  You will notice 2 other tractors in the field.  The one on the left side of the picture is pulling a chisel plow (my daddy came to run it!).  This goes through the field to chisel up what is left of the grain stubble, making organic matter for the ground.  The tractor to the far right of the picture is pulling the grain buggy.  This is what the combine dumps the grain into, and then the buggy goes and dumps on a truck.  This is helpful so that when the combine gets full in the middle of the field, the buggy can get the grain.

After the grain is taken to the truck, the truck either will go to our headquarters to put into the big grain bins, or straight to the port.  It is great when it goes straight to the port … cuts out quite a bit of in between work.  The truck driver got up and grabbed a shot of all the trucks in line that day … there were over 100.  

 Then the port ships it off.  But how cool is this ….

 one day we had to run an errand in Kingsville and got stuck at the railroad crossing.  Look what was coming through!  That is grain in those there rail cars.  Now next time you see a KCS (Kansas City Southern) rail car coming through, you will know what is in there!  

 Paw was gracious enough to come down and help for a few weeks.  He not only helped in the field, but he helped at home.  He taught Patton how to march, which is also one of his new favorite things to do.

 What your laundry room looks like when you have a climber.

 Last week Kirby discovered what we call the scale house.  It is a little tin building set up by the grain bins so that we can weigh and document trucks as they drop and pick up grain or corn.  It is now her office.

I love that statement.  And I know these are not the deepest waters I will ever be in, but they are deep enough for me right now.  It is such a gracious blessing that we finished the last of the corn Friday night just minutes before a huge storm came in.  Now we have almost a week of no harvest before the cotton begins.  Still work to be done, but not like the daunting days in the field.  Pray for us as we plow through the rest of this wonderful lifestyle we have been given.  I could not ask for more than we have been given, and I do not ever mean to come across to complain.  I am just staring our pockets of time with you and praying that my words of truth can comfort another southern momma out there too.  

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31